Coming out of a season of deep feminine burnout, I was diligently continuing all the things that had pulled me through the worst of it: therapy, journaling, and medicine. I left a job that had come to symbolize the worst of my over-functioning—long hours, ladder climbing, no time to breathe. I knew I couldn’t fully heal while still immersed in the same high-pressure environment that had fed the burnout, even if it wasn’t the root cause.
It has been just over a year since I started down the path of burnout recovery and I honestly feel so much better. The fog has lifted, and I feel “more me” than I have in the last 7 years..
But here’s the part no one warned me about: the hardest thing to reclaim wasn’t my work life balance or my energy. It was my needs. As in, the ability to recognize I have needs let alone take steps to fulfill them—especially in the chaos of everyday life.
Let me paint the picture: My toddler is flying around the kitchen. My husband needs to know where something is. Work is already buzzing my phone. The dog’s pacing to be fed. The dishes are everywhere. And me? I haven’t brushed my teeth. I haven’t had water. I haven’t even paused to notice myself. It’s only 8 a.m. and I am nearly drained from running the morning marathon with zero fuel.
Sound familiar?
If you’re anything like me, your default is to take care of everyone and everything else first. Maybe you think this is normal. Maybe you think this is virtuous. Maybe you think there are no other options because your family relies on you. Maybe you are NOT thinking about it at all… because you’re too in the throws of it to recognize how truly depleting this is.
Personally, I don’t believe this is sustainable. Nor do I believe that this supports “us” in living big, rewarding, beautiful lives filled with loving relationships. And that’s what I want – for me. for you. for all of us.
So, that’s where this tiny shift comes in. I call it RITUAL—a quick, easy acronym I created to help me come back to myself, especially in those chaotic, messy moments. It’s made a bigger difference than I ever expected.
Here’s what it stands for:
R — Recognize. YOU have needs. You’re a human being. This seems obvious, but trust me, it’s easy to forget when everyone’s pulling on you.
I — Isolate. Step away, even for a minute. Go to the bathroom. Close your eyes. Create a brief pocket of space to breathe.
T — Tune In. Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now? What do I need?
U — Uncover. Is it water? Electrolytes? Food? Socks? (Yes, socks. That one comes up more than you’d think.)
A — Act. Prioritize the top 3 needs and actually meet them. Walk back into your kitchen or office or event and straight down the path of meeting those needs. Don’t let in distractions. Don’t talk yourself out of it.
L — Listen. Keep checking in throughout the day. Your needs shift. Keep listening.
This little ritual is slowly becoming second nature to me. I do it multiple times a day now-literally practicing being a human. It’s not about big, dramatic self-care—it’s about reclaiming small, life-giving moments that add up to knowing yourself better and more importantly, knowing that you’re worthy of prioritizing your own needs.
If you’re running on fumes, if you’ve forgotten what it feels like to check in with yourself—I hope RITUAL helps. It’s not selfish. It’s survival.
Feminine Footing 